Friday, May 30, 2008

Big Love in Oregon

Slade and I will both be officially dieting at least sometime soon. Maybe. We have gotten to that point where we are growing out of all our clothes and it is easier to fool ourselves that it would be easier to diet than box up the wardrobes, next to all the other boxed up wardrobes.

I have always known that as soon as I started to return to normal health the first thing that would happen is that my weight would start piling back on. That is happening, fortunately and unfortunately. I have gained about fifteen pounds in just about the last approx two months or less, after struggling to keep down the bare minimum about to eat for the last three years.

Just one of those very bizzare realities with my health situation that obviously shows they have no about anything and no good options for me to get a lot better quickly.

It was actually getting a touch disturbing at one point, as I think I mentioned, slade had started calling me Auschwitz. At my thinnest, about January or so I weighed just 120 pounds, which is not too much for my height. The twins who don't put away laundry so well accidentally put a pair of Archer's jeans in my closet and I mistakenly put them on one day, and they fit. I was like--I don't remember owning capri pants. Now that is very much not the case.

The good news is before it is too late I might be able to try to switch back to a normal diet. I used to have to eat Rocky Road ice cream for every meal just to get enough calories to have energy to walk accross the room. Not a particularly good picture when the best thing you can do to manage your health is eat ice cream, and I had some explaining to do to the kids at dinner time. The last pint I bought was about a month ago, so we shall see whether it continues.

Everyone laughs at Slade when he has said he wants to loose weight for the past ten years. He is like a broken record at night at dinner time. I guess it is just a matter of perspective. He likes HIMSELF thinner, but he actually thinks I look better now (but this coming from a man who looks at Lane Bryant adds like they are centerfolds) And the reverse is true, I like him fine now but he thought I looked like a corpse before. But it was really cool being able to fit into some of the things I wore. I should probably say farewell to all of the things I bought from the Junior's section.

The whole thing is a very interesting education about appetite in relation to weight loss. I struggled with my weight no matter what I did until I got sick and my appetite totally went away, and even though I dieted, while I was hungry all the time I just ate too much.

The good news is that this might be what signals the tide is turning in my life finally. I would have never thought that loosing weight three years ago was a bad sign, so I have no idea.

Obviously while I couldn't sleep or eat there wasn't too much chance of good things for me. I am sure I can look forward to that again if I continue to feel healthy, so I guess it is a mixed blessing. It is sure about time. I have been so incredibly sick of living this way that I would accept any consequence pretty much for it to change.

9 comments:

Donna said...

Oh how I wish I had the problem of going from a size 4 to a size 6!

I have gone from daydreaming about being thin to just hoping for "not frightening." Definitely more attainable. Unless you write cookbooks. The French Toast book alone cost me 20 pounds.

Just my two cents: you both look great.

jph3 said...

120lbs?? My left arm weighs more than that!

Slade wants to loose weight? LOL!

Sheesh.

morganspice said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
morganspice said...

So does the left arm weigh more than your right?

I think people claim that the muscles are bigger on the preferred hand.

I am pretty sure slade would be fine with at least some of the differences between your arms and his! Guys would go for muscle any day if they had a chance. He has been trying his whole life to have some sort of pectoral muscles and he is actually concave there.

morganspice said...

THX for the compliment Donna. You always look great too. I have never been the prety one that's for sure. I'd like to say I got the personality but nope you hogged that too.

I don't think I carry extra weight as well as some people. It goes to my calves and strange places that I am sure people don't want to have a list of.

I promise it wasn't one of those Oh my hair looks terrible today fisshing kind of things, it was quite a dramatic change on the scale and in my jeans.

And LOL John.

I actually didn't really think about it from a vanity perspective until my Doc pointed out that he had metaphorically raised his eyebrows by seeing me gain nearly 20 percent of my body weight in one month. A little strange in the least.

If that frequency is held I will be three hundred lbs by Christmas so just trying to ward it off.

And I think that sometimes it is what you become used to. SLade has always been a bit vain about his looks (which you wouldn't suspect by his hideous beard thingy), much more so than me because looks have never really been my thing.

I figure that people don't have much control over them and so even though we are governed by things like that just like we want to have the flashiest car or whatever, looks shouldn't constitute anything that people should really pay attention to as much as they do and particularly when they spend a lot of effort to cultivate them. Very worldly, etc.

But Slade got used to being stroked by the compliments, he's human, clearly.

Also it is kind of shocking when all of a sudden I don't fit into anything. And that's not an exaggeration. I had seriously not bought any clothes that fit me now since almost before my pregancy and they were all totally out of style.

But anyhoo, thanks in general for the comments you two. You are such troupers to always do that in response to my ramblings. Very sweet message that it sends.

So thx.

morganspice said...

It is actually quite amazing that slade has gained as much as he has. He has gained thirty five pounds since he got home from his mission. Over twenty percent of his total at the time.

I happen to think that he looks better with it, because as most people realise you can't just choose where weight goes. To not have the roll on his stomach he would have to give up the extra on his arms and shoulders and go back to having total chicken legs which he pretty much still has.

morganspice said...

It was actually about twenty five percent, which when you figure is probably all fat, isn't that good. I am sure we will end up clocking it back on too before things get too much better because we have either been too lazy or preoccupied to get our diets under control.

morganspice said...

Sorry I am sure that no one wants the particulars but if I were still a size six I would still have some clothes!

It is like Oprah always going up or down except she can afford the cost and doesn't have to do her own shopping.

I actually hate shopping, which is so weird for a woman, but it has pretty much been always true about me.

I would be like Einstein or whoever it was that only has seven versions of the same outfit so they never have to think about what to wear. Such a pointless diversion of time and resources that could go to important things like very important online activities.

I can't wait until we are all just like brains in a jar or spirits or whatever it will be that doesn't involve in actual time-intensive upkeep of the body.

When we get to run around in just our righteousness.

Better get to work on that, if I want to cover my new size in my righteousness, I guess.

morganspice said...

Sorry again I keep thinking of stuff related to this, even though I wanted it to be a side note due to its total irrelevance to anything important.

But this is a funny story. When Slade's parents were about our age I think (as slade tells it, and he isn't that much of a historian) they went to Weight Watchers just because they wanted to be healthy eaters supposedly and had probably an average amount due to aging and whatnot, probably not as much as slade and I have tho.

The upshot: they got driven out with TORCHES.