REALLY SORRY

For no posts lately. I have been on Helium, where I have just tied for first place in a contest on the American Revolution. So they gave us both the first place prize, plus the up front money was over 80 dollars, and then whatever I make on these which includes #1 articles that are usually calculated to do well. I just passed the 1500 mark on what I have made.

http://corp.helium.com/marketingcontest/leaderboard/884?cms=title-madness

Slade made curtains for our front room. They are BEAUTIFUL. We have been doing some big time decorating and I will have to post pics. I have curtains and new bedding in my bedroom, with nightstands. I feel like a grownup. But we are switching to king. So changes again soon. There is a K bed at Ikea for 150 that is amazig plus the mattress and topper we are getting used for 100. New K set for 250. Pretty good.
Next is an addition which we will have done, a swimspa that is about to be delivered (a jacuzzi that has a current you can swim against) and the attic rennovation which will create a media room and maybe future beroom for growing teens.

And I have been spending a lot of time on facebook,which is addicting. Those of you that don't do it should try or at least sign up and friend the main people you talk with on it.

Stephanie's pics

If I were you I would plan to start thinking of somethingn nice for Steph so she will do yours too!

Tourneys, Drake

The boys are now heavily into chess season. Sadie plays in occasional tournaments, and was proud of herself that she won two out of five games in her last one. She said "this kid was running around the board taking all my pieces and I saw a way to checkmate him so I did." Pretty cute that she is proud of small successes next to the boys that are always coming home with GIANT trophys, we are going to need an extra room.

Well, I blew it by telling you all about Drake and Helium, because he was mortified and swore he would never do it again. I didn't know that G Hicks would talk to him the next day before I got a chance to say how mad he was that I put it on the blog and to not say anything. But he came around. In fact, here's a link to a contest he placed in. AGAINST ADULTS! Well, sports fans mind you, but still.

http://corp.helium.com/marketingcontest/leaderboard/649?cms=wide-world-of-sports

And 40 bucks is a lot for a 13-yr-old dashing of some mediocre articles in one weekend. But in a few weeks after you all see this I will take it down and NO ONE I REPEAT NO ONE mention it to him for any reason, even the best of them like congratulating him or anything. He will threaten to quit again, even though he doesn't usually. It's too good of money.

Sorry abt shutdown

Hi,

Sorry I had to shut down, Helium put me on the homepage. If she checked it the day I mailed her she would have seen what I mean, and I don't want strange people browsing around the family blog.

So my present thing isn't picking up any steam. It is REALLY hard to get to the post office with packages without a car. And I think after I sent something to the wrong person I just kind of gave up for a while.

Luckily, it won't be anything any of you will miss. Except now I guess I could add Easter candy. Why not?

Valentine's family

I wanted to do a lot of the traditional things that I always want to do like bake Christmas cookies, go caroling, and send gifts.

I got fairly far into the process considering how I was feeling, and the fact that the kids were all SO BUSY with their various performances. But no party or caroling or the worst thing, I bought gifts even though I haven't sent them yet.

So I have decided that our family will be a Valentine's day family. I will send out the things I bought for Christmas for Valentine's Day, hopefully early, so that people can use some of the decorations I use to decorate their packages to make the to be festive and reusable for other people's V-Day decoration of their houses.

One of the things we are going to be sending are the fantastic family portraits that Stephanie Morgan took of our family recently. They are as good or better than anything professional we have had done. (Not that we have had a lot of family pics taken, we are such slackers). That is partially because she has all the equipment and I am sure mainly because of talent. She takes great pics.

I will be posting some on my blog if I can get her to scan some in (or maybe if she already has them digitally), but for many of the family I will be sending hard copies.

I am actually also planning a Valentine's day couple's party. Well it is actually AFTER V-day (I can't even be on time for my late holiday party, but it will feature fun couple's games like the newlywed game where couples guess the answers that their spouse gave to various questions and the winner is the one with the most correct answers, showing the greatest "compatibility."

I hope it is as fun as it was when I played it when we first moved into the ward and we played it at a New Year's Party. We actually won this hands down. That is because Slade's answers are so recognizable. For the answer to "What is your favorite date activity," among the other choices was "gazing into each other's eyes." Who else would say something like that? I had a major advantage. And it was actually about 12 years ago so we were one of the youngest couples there.

So if you haven't heard from us all for Christmas yet it isn't contempt, just procrastination multiplied by inability to drive factored in by generally feeling like crap as usual.

And one of the benefits of sending things late will be to thank people for the awesome and generous things people sent us for Christmas. It was a great hall, thanks everyone.

LOOKS VS INTELLECT IN OUR FAMILY

My son is a professional writer. You would think I was exaggerating. Drake has been writing with me on Helium, and has been doing well. He gets paid fairly good rates and I would guess that he makes far above minimum wage, which is good for someone his age from just sitting around writing on the internet which is what most of them do at that age, anyway. I mean his articles do well initially and from readership clickthrus and so now he has two stars - their compensation scheme that determines how much money you get. I have four so he is seriously on his way. Anyway, he gets more money doing this than I think most young teens get by doing anything as comparatively non lawn-mowing-related.

I have watched him deal with this new way of being amazing but not been surprised by it, as he has had quite a few. His "gifted" trajectory makes me also wonder whether he got the gifts in life that he will be more glad he got. Because for all the value of intellect, many people do better in life if they are simply good looking. He is kind of the pimply teen right now, so he may be nice looking like his dad, but he has a ways.

To be specific, Slade and I have never really thought LOOKS were that important, because we valued other things. After all, looks are kind of like valuing something worldly and materialistic that doesn't matter in this life. So it would be hard to justify really caring about it too much. I mean it is always interesting to ask the question, which are more important, looks vs. intellect to a kids' life? And which one wins in a given family? Chances are the answer will be the same one depending on your family's values. Since we are the way we are, we obviously downplay looks, even if it would be nicer if we were better looking of course.

I mean, my husband is totally hot and gorgeous, so it is kind of funny saying that looks aren't his thing. At forty he has has boyish looks that make him look like he's in his twenties, beautiful thick glossy hair, and that is the envy of every woman in the ward and can wear torso-hugging t-shirts. Hot hot hottie. He always says the same about me, and I can wear torso-hugging ts to, but not quite the same I absolutely am convinced. Slade is nice enough to pretend that I don't look like a corpse, the reason I am thin, because I can't eat a decent meal. He pretends I don't look like a CORPSE.

We went to London a fewy years ago and a guy in a pub asked us how many kids we had, and said "You mean four, between you?" Meaning, that it looked like I had four kids and that he was just some guy in his twenties that was with me. I would have been embarrassed, except wow there must be something about a woman who could get a young guy that can afford to take her to Europe. So yeah, I will take being able to be escorted around London with a guy half my age, or whatever, it is probably a compliment about me in a way - since I don't care about looks, as I said.

I think I luckily bypassed the tendency to think that my kids are particularly cute. I really didn't want to be one of those parents that doesn't see in themselves what I am sure they all see in OTHER parents. I mean I am fond of my own, as we are partial to sleeping in our own beds though it is just familiarity and such, and am pretty sure that I feel average amounts of affection as I love them, but it never translated into an assumption that I would think they were ACTUALLY CUTER than other people's and it really seems that I am unusual there. Of course we expected we would THINK that our kids were totally gorgeous like everyone else does so we tried to ward it off because we didn't want to be one of those that says stuff that people feel awkward about because no one feels like other people's kids how their own parents do, etc.

So we were never tempted to tell people what knockouts our kids were because we didn't ever really feel that our kids were better looking than other people's. We always thought, particularly in Slade's family like everyone else's kids were much cuter than ours. It made us worry that they are actually hideous. But as I said we just don't value it, probably. It seems to be really unusual, anyway, so I know that I LIKE my kids, and I know that it is just parental affection, not any actual assessment that they are cuter or more likeable. I always wonder, in fact, how parents could really think that their kids were cuter since obviously they LIKE their kids and feel affection, etc. so it couldn't be that there was any particular reason, after all, the people actually believe that there is any chance that they have cuter kids objectively than others.

I know someone whose baby was born and he said oh man, I was so worried I would have a homely child, I am so relieved. And he said oh man Carol, seriously he is so smart, and then he said something that the kid did to make it sound like he was seriously challenged. And when we were leaving, we looked at each other like what do you think? We both said, well, pretty homely.

I mean I don't think they are actually hideous or anything but I think that I take how they look to me and apply a reduction factor that is about equivalent to making them equal to what I think that they probably are considering what parents of about equally attractive children say about their kids. And the number of photographs they take of their kids and the things that they say. Not that I don't think other kids are cuter than mine, usually I do and that is rare. I have never once had it pass through my head wow my kids are so much cuter than everyone else's kids are. NOT ONCE. We have asked ourselves whether that means they are totally hideous.


Well, obviously there wasn't going to be any question about Drake's ability to do stuff like this. I guess it has been something I expected. My kids are charmed intellectually. The only reason I feel comfortable saying that is that it isn't really a subjective thing. There are always various people and reports and programs that come to me to tell me this information. I mean, I would think that it was just parental bias, or that there was a chance of it. Except that I am pretty hard on my kids in general.



I mean, poor kids, they aren't going to have an easy audience even with their own parents. They have to wait until all of the objective data comes in like all of the things they do like win first place in state chess tournaments, have their IQs round up to two hundred rather than down to one hundred, all of those kind of things that someone will convince US about rather than the other way around. Because we are hard eggs to crack even with our own kids. They don't impress us easily. But seriously, Drake is more competent than we are and he is smarter than we are, even at his age. This writing thing is just the latest proof and interesting result of it.

Knowing about parental bias I have been suspicious and wary that I would think that my kids would be cute and everyone would say poor Carol thinks her kids are good looking. I never really seemed to be beguiled by my kids' looks, though. I have always thought that most other friends and family have better looking kids than we do, and I don't have any problem with it. I mean, some people are just not beautiful, and I think it would be a problem if I felt that people had to pretend that my kids were really nice looking. I would rather that everyone just be realistic, and no one have to pretend that my kids are gorgeous and we won't have to pretend that they're not smart, either. Cause both are awkard.

I was also suspicious that I would think that they were smarter than they were. So I waited to have them be really normal and average. Well, that never happened. They ALL said their first words when they were nine months. ALL of them. I remember that Drake said his first word, DUCK, when he was in the DAV we were with Grandma Morgan, when he was nine months old. She said he just said DUCK - he was pointing to one of those mix and match toy bags that they have in the back for 99 cents. I didn't believe it at first, but he obviously said it with that one word intonation that means he is saying a word, and he was pointing to a Duck and saying duck.

So I kept waiting for signs of averageness, and I was willing to accept that possibility, cause average looks came to our house - at best. But no signs of average intellect. Grandpa Morgan was holding Drake when he was too young to even crawl. Seriously, that's why he was holding him with the typical arm around the belly hold like most people hold non-mobile kids. He was holding him so that Drake could look down onto a counter where there were some coins. Grandpa Morgan said, OOOOH, look at those really shiny things! Drake said, "Money." And kind of with that actual INTONATION that would suggest uh DUH grampa, I know that those aren't just shiny things!

He wasn't even CRAWLING when he said this. Meaning he was eleven months, since I think it tends to go in my family that babies move really late but talk really early. REALLY early. Meaning he took two months to go from his first word, duck, to saying a few dozen words, including money. So Drake has kept up his milestones, talking in sentences way before he was two (when the twins were born, I remember he said "I am going to kill those brothers with a stick" which really concerned Grandma Morgan, but he never ended up having any violent impulses, it is just interesting that he said that when he was less than two years old.)

So the kids kept up their early verbal milestones anyway, talking early, and now writing professionally early. Drake's professional writing status as a young teen is fairly impressive to me, even, though I am hard to impress. A year ago I would have been impressed if I sold an article last year, but I have sold tons of them now, and I am not magic. I have more work than I can do. Flooded with it.

So it may not be that impressive. It may be that dreaded parental bias that I keep thinking will surface will at some point. I hope not. I have always feared it and not wanted to look like one of THOSE PARENTS. Who we all know who they are, they are mailing their SAT scores in the family Christmas letter. I am sure I do stuff like that, I mean look at my blog. I assume that everything they do is somewhat influenced by my bias. They are probably not as good at music stuff as I think they are sometimes, I just try to be supportive. And I am just SO HAPPY that the boys are willing to do music I can't even contain it. Probably their various engagements are embarrassing to people that know they are just average. I mean I KNOW they are average, but it makes me happy, and I thought they were cute singing, I mean the singing was cute not them, really, I mean I saw Sadie's gut, she's not fooling me. But she is happy when I put her on the blog. Unlike Archer, who I have to trick.

But a lot of the time other people are usually even more impressed than I am, and are even more surprised. People who run across him on H are shocked that he is only thirteen. His articles compete with adults' articles and whomp all over them. It is interesting to think about where he learned how to do that, obviously it is like everything else they do and it just doesn't take them much time or effort to get good at it.

Poor things.

Esurientes (Vivaldi) solo by Archer

This is Archer singing, tho I should have gotten closer up on him. He is doing much better with his solos, every time he sings he improves. So I am excited to have him keep at it. FYI, he is the first singer, the soprano.

And it is interesting that Archer isn't necessarily the one of my boys that has the best singing voices. Well, he IS, one of the better out of three. But Chase has a nicer QUALITY voice. Actually Chase's voice is ABSOLUTELY beautiful to listen to. Nicer than Archer. And Drake has a spot on ear for pitch. Better than Archer. The best of the three.

But neither one of the two of them will be caught dead singing alone in public. Archer just has the performance-level confidence, so even though he doesn't have that much talent, he will probably end up doing the most with it. Like a ton. He is getting asked to do all kinds of singing gigs in all kinds of forms, because whatever his ability, people also like to watch him perform. He has that personality that people like to keep their eyes on, too.

He has a legendarily sunny personality. So much so that people I barely know who saw him do something come up to me and tell me how great he was, even though I know he is basically medium talent-wise. But personality and performing wise, he is the next Donny Osmond. So yes, we will be busy the next few years. But that is why actually that it frustrates me that he doesn't even consider himself a singer or performer. He is SO gender stereotyped that he really just considers himself an average guy. But really, I think that is also one of the reasons that people like to watch him sing. If he was a fruity tooty kind of singer or actor kid, then people would be a bit turned off by him. They know that he is just a regular boy, very boyISH if you know what I mean, he doesn't get his abilities from having girl-type interests, he is 100 pure guy and just happens to sing and perform.

Slade and I don't really know where that came from. I mean in terms of ability to perform... Slade is very "guyish" also, not a bit of effeminateness in him if I turned him upside down to smoke it out of him. All my boys are so boyish it isn't even a contest. The gender constructionists are absolutely clueless. NO CHANCE that anyone drummed their lone rangerish guyness into them. It was all there.

But I have an ok ear for music, but I am not a performer. And Slade isn't either. I mean if Slade's genes were in him he would be hiding his head in the sand like the other two, even if he was that good of a singer. Interesting...




Also I was regretting stopping it before all the applause, and didn't tape when he had them bow at the end with the other soloists because it was cool to hear all the people hooting and hollering for him...