Like a lot of us since Facebook, I've been neglecting my blog. So I was going to link to this on FB but I have resolved to try to do a blog post once again like in the good old days of blogging.
http://www.portlandchoirs.org/
This is A&C's choir home page but it features Archer's solo, even though it has the mom of the other kid talking through Archer by himself. She is a board member so there is that kind of perk. I do nothing and my kid makes it on, so not bad. If you look closely at the oposite ends (they are the tallest) are Archer and Chase, one looking relatively glad to be there, the other not, but what it says about A is that he identifies with being a singer and about Chase that he does it anyway.
It is actually the better compliment, actually, because he does it purely out of love and honor of his mother, because to try to get out of it this year he spent about a solid hour pouting in the corner of the living room until I noticed him. I was going to let him off the hook but I begged him to keep at it because they switched the venue for rehearsals and they took the light rail last year by themselves because it was a straight shot from a block away from our house to the rehearsal locale but this year there are a few blocks in Portland involved and couldn't bear to think of my sweet Archer walking alone in Portland alone at night, so I suppose this might turn Chase into a serial murderer or something because of how much he resents it but for now it just tells me that he is a super sweet boy that would do just about anything to make his mom happy. Not to mention that he has decent pipes himself, he just prefers not to solo quite so much.
When I get around to it I am going to post Archer's major paid solo backed up by a full choir and orchestra but that will involve a bit more work. We are very lucky he went out with a bang, too, because his voice changed this summer very quickly. Kind of sad, but I am pretty sure that his lower voice will also be nice, just not quite so impressive. He used to be able to sing up to a B (5 notes above the highest note for women in the Hymn book). He still can sing to an F, just not solo quality so much, though I am trying to convince him to work up his very nice sounding alto while he still has it. We'll see.
That and a few other posts will be coming as I catch up. They sang at Carnegie Hall and I hope one of the other parents did some good video.
Sadie will be in the Children's chorus of Joseph and the ATDC. She is having a blast and it is developing her voice very nicely. She is very artistic and has added knitting recently to fashion design and drawing. Slade used to draw with Charity in Sacrament meeting when she was little and we all know that turned out well so we expect great things from her once she picks a specialty.
Drake is pretty much school school and more school. He was bummed that they didn't pick the highest valedictorian for distinction at Forest Grove, it is just anyone with a 4 or higher which he scoffs at because he is trying to get it much higher by taking as many AP classes as he can. These are weighted to 5's. He is already working on his Princeton ap because that is supposedly the place to go to pursue his love of physics. We will be interested to see where he gets the money, but there is no doubt that he will find a way somehow.
Slade is cleaning house at Intel. They are sending him to Tokyo in a few weeks as a rep to meet with important customers, which is interesting because there are people with that career path who would kill each other for the chance and if you didn't see him you might not know he was just a regular tech geek for his day job. I think they figure that not only is he brilliant at what he does and well spoken, he makes for nice window dressing because he is also so dang gorgeous. Doesn't have the typical engineer paunch or hairline.
That leaves Q and me. I am finally starting to feel like a normal person since it has only been about a week since I could walk across the room. QB is now past 10 pounds even though she is only in the 2nd percentile for weight. But I am actually glad I get to have her small longer, I know that if she is like most of the rest of us she won't be underweight for long. She easily takes the cake for my best natured baby which wories me because the rest of them were still screaming their heads off but had not a single two-ish tantrum among them later on, when it is a lot less sweet to hear them cry.
Well that about does it for now, but stay tuned because there will be more posting if I get to it, particularly some interesting news that you will want to be the first to hear.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
The Birth Story:
Well I haven't put it all out there quite yet so I thought it was about time. I am not quite put together again, much akin to Humpty Dumpty. My leg still hurts, I am still reeling from having almost died two months ago during the last few weeks I was pregnant, and am still not sleeping normally since it has been a year or more since I Have had enough sleep.
The entire pregnancy was a bit rocky as I have described here. At the highest weight I attained I gained four pounds since the beginning. I went through periods where I wasn't just sick I felt like I was poisoned, and I was. I got so dehydrated that my kidneys and liver were not detoxing me properly and I was undergoing gradual organ failure. At the checkup on month eight, my birthday, I went in and I had lost 24 pounds since my last appointment.
So I was immediately admitted. But they decided it was too serious for that hospital and I was transported between that one and another one via ambulance. I felt like Hannibal Lecter strapped onto a stretcher like that. Anyway once I got there I continued to not be able to keep down fluid and vomit up my insides. It was about a week since I kept down water, around the time that you are supposed to be able to survive, even without constant puking.
Everyone kept coming in my room and telling me I was hours from death uless I was rehydrated via IV but it took about 50 pokes to get a vein since they were all collapsed from not having enough fluid in them. Finally with an ultrasound they found a deep vein they could use and it hurt lie (*@&#^. But everything did pretty much at that point since I was, as they told me, dying.
They decided I needed a psych consult because they decided that no one normal would let themselves get that sick. Weird because I have had doctors say that I was too agressive about trying to get treatment. Damned if I do, etc. I was kept five days even though Quincy was very small, four and a half pounds, but she was healthy it was me that was being monitored during that time.
I think that what happened was that after my leg was broken (and it just crumpled out from under me, I didn't fall, because of bad nutrition - the canary in the mine shaft that I wasn't getting enough to eat) I felt it was too much trouble to get up and get anything to eat or drink and there was no one to do it for me. And I didn't have any appetite anyway so I never felt like it. But at some point I passed the point of no return and my organs started objecting, leading to the wild and crazy vomiting and eventual near death.
My epidural was a disaster. They put in the needle and catheter but for some reason not the medicine. The nurse decided to wait until it was just barely too late to dose it into my system, even though I had the needle placed (she talked as if somehow she thought this helped somehow even though all it meant was that there was a needle and catheter in my back) so Slade threw a fit and said Is there anyone that will listen to my wife, she needs anesthesia, damn it! And the nurses just stood there bovine-like and the only person that responded was the doctor.
So (and this is the part that is quite funny if you can find anything funny in organ failure and major horrible vomiting and pain) the doctor left the room just as the baby was coming out. I had an UNASSISTED DELIVERY RIGHT ON THE BED! So so much for being transported to a level one trauma hospital, because with all the nurses anesthesiologists and ob's I basically had natural childbirth with no assistance from anyone.
What a nightmare. The good news is that as soon as I delivered I got a major appetite. There was silly low cal hospital food so it took a LOT of eating to get enough, but I have managed to gain the 25 pounds back and then some.
The only problem I am still having (other than being generally traumatized from having a premie to take care of after again, being hours from death - they couldn't seem to stress it enough so that's why I keep saying it) is sleep. It has been a year since I have had a normal night's sleep. I usually go weeks at a time with only about ten hours cumulatively per week and then I will sleep for three days. This has been since between pregnancy, nursing and in general caring for a baby, I haven't had the opportunity to sleep nor the medication I take, even the very benign stuff is verboten during nursing, so I am in the process of weaning so I can get some sleep. I have a feeling that the effects of nursing aren't good for me or the baby when it has such a dramatic impact on my health, as sad as it is.
I recently went to Chicago because Slade and I were going to visit Charity. I woke up breifly on the plane and realized I didn't remember packing or getting to the airport so I knew that I was in the middle of a disaster period. I remember very little of the trip, and for some bizarre reason, travel seems to bring on the hypersleep as I call it. I used to be able to drive for days when we went on trips but now it is the opposite. I remember very little of the windy city and what I do remember was basically the results of walking around asleep. Not much of it good. Thanks for being a good sport Charity.
Well the good news is that I am plenty normal when Slade keeps me all Rapunzelized and doesn't let me get excited or anything that might trigger to little sleep to lead to this. So I am sure that everyone knows this but they are welcome to come to see us and Quincy, and it will probably be the only way for a very long time. Slade has said NO WAY to any more travel. So I would love to take the baby and visit people like I used to but that is a no no.
My mom and other sisters have come to see us and that was very welcome and has represented a minute or two of pleasantry in the midst of disaster. And I have the feeling that no one wants to bother us since when we visit them we don't do well, but we are ok here. So please come see us in our normal habitat and you will see that I am mostly normal, except when I am asleep, and then I am pretty normal for someone who is asleep. That doesn't say too much, I realize.
The entire pregnancy was a bit rocky as I have described here. At the highest weight I attained I gained four pounds since the beginning. I went through periods where I wasn't just sick I felt like I was poisoned, and I was. I got so dehydrated that my kidneys and liver were not detoxing me properly and I was undergoing gradual organ failure. At the checkup on month eight, my birthday, I went in and I had lost 24 pounds since my last appointment.
So I was immediately admitted. But they decided it was too serious for that hospital and I was transported between that one and another one via ambulance. I felt like Hannibal Lecter strapped onto a stretcher like that. Anyway once I got there I continued to not be able to keep down fluid and vomit up my insides. It was about a week since I kept down water, around the time that you are supposed to be able to survive, even without constant puking.
Everyone kept coming in my room and telling me I was hours from death uless I was rehydrated via IV but it took about 50 pokes to get a vein since they were all collapsed from not having enough fluid in them. Finally with an ultrasound they found a deep vein they could use and it hurt lie (*@&#^. But everything did pretty much at that point since I was, as they told me, dying.
They decided I needed a psych consult because they decided that no one normal would let themselves get that sick. Weird because I have had doctors say that I was too agressive about trying to get treatment. Damned if I do, etc. I was kept five days even though Quincy was very small, four and a half pounds, but she was healthy it was me that was being monitored during that time.
I think that what happened was that after my leg was broken (and it just crumpled out from under me, I didn't fall, because of bad nutrition - the canary in the mine shaft that I wasn't getting enough to eat) I felt it was too much trouble to get up and get anything to eat or drink and there was no one to do it for me. And I didn't have any appetite anyway so I never felt like it. But at some point I passed the point of no return and my organs started objecting, leading to the wild and crazy vomiting and eventual near death.
My epidural was a disaster. They put in the needle and catheter but for some reason not the medicine. The nurse decided to wait until it was just barely too late to dose it into my system, even though I had the needle placed (she talked as if somehow she thought this helped somehow even though all it meant was that there was a needle and catheter in my back) so Slade threw a fit and said Is there anyone that will listen to my wife, she needs anesthesia, damn it! And the nurses just stood there bovine-like and the only person that responded was the doctor.
So (and this is the part that is quite funny if you can find anything funny in organ failure and major horrible vomiting and pain) the doctor left the room just as the baby was coming out. I had an UNASSISTED DELIVERY RIGHT ON THE BED! So so much for being transported to a level one trauma hospital, because with all the nurses anesthesiologists and ob's I basically had natural childbirth with no assistance from anyone.
What a nightmare. The good news is that as soon as I delivered I got a major appetite. There was silly low cal hospital food so it took a LOT of eating to get enough, but I have managed to gain the 25 pounds back and then some.
The only problem I am still having (other than being generally traumatized from having a premie to take care of after again, being hours from death - they couldn't seem to stress it enough so that's why I keep saying it) is sleep. It has been a year since I have had a normal night's sleep. I usually go weeks at a time with only about ten hours cumulatively per week and then I will sleep for three days. This has been since between pregnancy, nursing and in general caring for a baby, I haven't had the opportunity to sleep nor the medication I take, even the very benign stuff is verboten during nursing, so I am in the process of weaning so I can get some sleep. I have a feeling that the effects of nursing aren't good for me or the baby when it has such a dramatic impact on my health, as sad as it is.
I recently went to Chicago because Slade and I were going to visit Charity. I woke up breifly on the plane and realized I didn't remember packing or getting to the airport so I knew that I was in the middle of a disaster period. I remember very little of the trip, and for some bizarre reason, travel seems to bring on the hypersleep as I call it. I used to be able to drive for days when we went on trips but now it is the opposite. I remember very little of the windy city and what I do remember was basically the results of walking around asleep. Not much of it good. Thanks for being a good sport Charity.
Well the good news is that I am plenty normal when Slade keeps me all Rapunzelized and doesn't let me get excited or anything that might trigger to little sleep to lead to this. So I am sure that everyone knows this but they are welcome to come to see us and Quincy, and it will probably be the only way for a very long time. Slade has said NO WAY to any more travel. So I would love to take the baby and visit people like I used to but that is a no no.
My mom and other sisters have come to see us and that was very welcome and has represented a minute or two of pleasantry in the midst of disaster. And I have the feeling that no one wants to bother us since when we visit them we don't do well, but we are ok here. So please come see us in our normal habitat and you will see that I am mostly normal, except when I am asleep, and then I am pretty normal for someone who is asleep. That doesn't say too much, I realize.
Friday, April 30, 2010
One way it could be worse
Slade often goes to Cali for the day to talk to the big wigs. But even that I hate and anything overnight is unacceptible. Again Anne Bradstreet, seventeenth century, has this to say about men traveling from home for work:
"A Letter to Her Husband, Absent Upon Public Employment"
Anne Bradstreet
My head, my heart, mine eyes, my life, nay, more,
My joy, my magazine of earthly store,
If two be one, as surely thou and I,
How stayest thou there, wilst I at Ipswich lie?
So many steps, head from the heart to sever,
If but a neck, soon should we be together,
I, like the Earth this season, mourn in black,
My Sun is gone so far in's zodiac,
Whom whilst I 'joyed, nor storms, nor frost I felt,
His warmth such frigid colds did cause to melt.
My chilled limbs now numbed lie forlorn;
Return, return, sweet Sol, from Capricorn,
In this dead time, alas, what can I more
Than view those fruits which through thy heat I bore?
Which sweet contentment yield me for a space,
True living pictures of their father's face.
O strange effect! now thou art southward gone,
I weary grow the tedious day so long;
But when thou northward to me shalt return,
I wish my Sun may never set, but burn
Within the Cancer of my glowing breast,
The welcome house of him my dearest guest.
Where ever, ever stay, and go not thence,
Till nature's sad decree shall call thee hence;
Flesh of thy flesh, bone of thy bone,
I here, thou there, but both but one.
He is due for three months of vacation this year and even he who I would have switch companies if he traveled is such a workaholic that he is ambivalent about taking it. He won't admit it really but unless I pin him down he says a lot of stuff that sound like it. At least he likes his work because he does it very hard.
"A Letter to Her Husband, Absent Upon Public Employment"
Anne Bradstreet
My head, my heart, mine eyes, my life, nay, more,
My joy, my magazine of earthly store,
If two be one, as surely thou and I,
How stayest thou there, wilst I at Ipswich lie?
So many steps, head from the heart to sever,
If but a neck, soon should we be together,
I, like the Earth this season, mourn in black,
My Sun is gone so far in's zodiac,
Whom whilst I 'joyed, nor storms, nor frost I felt,
His warmth such frigid colds did cause to melt.
My chilled limbs now numbed lie forlorn;
Return, return, sweet Sol, from Capricorn,
In this dead time, alas, what can I more
Than view those fruits which through thy heat I bore?
Which sweet contentment yield me for a space,
True living pictures of their father's face.
O strange effect! now thou art southward gone,
I weary grow the tedious day so long;
But when thou northward to me shalt return,
I wish my Sun may never set, but burn
Within the Cancer of my glowing breast,
The welcome house of him my dearest guest.
Where ever, ever stay, and go not thence,
Till nature's sad decree shall call thee hence;
Flesh of thy flesh, bone of thy bone,
I here, thou there, but both but one.
He is due for three months of vacation this year and even he who I would have switch companies if he traveled is such a workaholic that he is ambivalent about taking it. He won't admit it really but unless I pin him down he says a lot of stuff that sound like it. At least he likes his work because he does it very hard.
General updating
Well some good stuff and bad stuff. Those that follow me on FB hear about it but the rest of you might not know what is going on with us so thought we'd summarize.
Archer did awesome with his first paid singing gig. He will next month be singing in Carnegie Hall. I wasn't well enough to go but we taped it and will soon load it.
I broke my leg and ankle in three places. Probably because my diet has led to my bones being decalcified like an old woman. My osteopath said it has been known to happen. So I will have surgery on Monday. Bummer but at least then I will start to heal. So if anyone would like to send a shower gift I am not asking for baby stuff but mom is doing something that I could use about as much as I can get.
She is paing for house cleaning. So if people want to go in on a merry maid day that would be perfect. I have had nothing to do but online shop and I got some amazing handmedowns from Slade's sis so I think I am set I just can't cook and clean. And boy I need to. There is also a place called dream dinners where you go and make a month of meals. Stuff like that, just survival mode basically here.
Sometimes there are hidden blessings to bad problems though. Slade is again proving what an amazing husband he is. I heard an early seventeenth century poem by Anne Bradstreet that I can't believe knew me and Slade way back when. He does things for me that I hate to do for myself and unflinchingly. Lifted a seven month preg me down into the tub today, etc.
"To My Dear and Loving Husband"
by Anne Bradstreet
If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee;
If ever wife was happy in a man,
Compare with me, ye women, if you can.
I prize thy love more than whole mines of gold
Or all the riches that the East doth hold.
My love is such that rivers cannot quench,
Nor ought but love from thee, give recompense.
Thy love is such I can no way repay,
The heavens reward thee manifold, I pray.
Then while we live, in love let's so persevere
That when we live no more, we may live ever.
So there are kindnesses. Slade's sis's stuff, mom's offer to clean my house, Donna coming to help, my ward is feeding us, many silver linings.
Archer did awesome with his first paid singing gig. He will next month be singing in Carnegie Hall. I wasn't well enough to go but we taped it and will soon load it.
I broke my leg and ankle in three places. Probably because my diet has led to my bones being decalcified like an old woman. My osteopath said it has been known to happen. So I will have surgery on Monday. Bummer but at least then I will start to heal. So if anyone would like to send a shower gift I am not asking for baby stuff but mom is doing something that I could use about as much as I can get.
She is paing for house cleaning. So if people want to go in on a merry maid day that would be perfect. I have had nothing to do but online shop and I got some amazing handmedowns from Slade's sis so I think I am set I just can't cook and clean. And boy I need to. There is also a place called dream dinners where you go and make a month of meals. Stuff like that, just survival mode basically here.
Sometimes there are hidden blessings to bad problems though. Slade is again proving what an amazing husband he is. I heard an early seventeenth century poem by Anne Bradstreet that I can't believe knew me and Slade way back when. He does things for me that I hate to do for myself and unflinchingly. Lifted a seven month preg me down into the tub today, etc.
"To My Dear and Loving Husband"
by Anne Bradstreet
If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee;
If ever wife was happy in a man,
Compare with me, ye women, if you can.
I prize thy love more than whole mines of gold
Or all the riches that the East doth hold.
My love is such that rivers cannot quench,
Nor ought but love from thee, give recompense.
Thy love is such I can no way repay,
The heavens reward thee manifold, I pray.
Then while we live, in love let's so persevere
That when we live no more, we may live ever.
So there are kindnesses. Slade's sis's stuff, mom's offer to clean my house, Donna coming to help, my ward is feeding us, many silver linings.
Alexis, need anything?
Hi there, hope you are doing ok. I have the opposite problem, Low BP, which even makes me fall, I just broke my leg and that might have been why.
Anyway, I am gathering up stuff that we need to get rid of and I was wondering what your older daughter wears size wise and if there is anything in particular she needs. I am having a baby girl too so I will keep the little stuff but I am thinking like size four or fiveish I will be getting rid of so was wondering if you wanted any of it and if so what particularly.
Good luck to you and hope all is well with, is it Clara?
Thea. That has got to be spelled wrong so I hesitated but got to risk it. I can set her up with some new clothes as soon as I am well enough to go around in the attic which I probably shouldn't do but am very frustrated because I want to nest and can't.
Anyway, I am gathering up stuff that we need to get rid of and I was wondering what your older daughter wears size wise and if there is anything in particular she needs. I am having a baby girl too so I will keep the little stuff but I am thinking like size four or fiveish I will be getting rid of so was wondering if you wanted any of it and if so what particularly.
Good luck to you and hope all is well with, is it Clara?
Thea. That has got to be spelled wrong so I hesitated but got to risk it. I can set her up with some new clothes as soon as I am well enough to go around in the attic which I probably shouldn't do but am very frustrated because I want to nest and can't.
Thanks AGAIN!
Wow I am agog at the stuff Rachel sent me, way better than the stuff I sent her so I am going to send her about the cutest thing I have and then go digging for more. I bought Sadie a plaid sundress in France when I was there that has a matching kerchief. FROM FRANCE! Sadie fit it for about five minutes. Hey that might work pretty well for us because Sadie is bigger than your oldest and my baby will be littler than your youngest at least for a while. So we could trade. I also have some really cute shoes.
I will dig around and find some really good stuff in the bigger sizes because I don't know if I want to store it all for nine years. I have a really cute red and black coat with a muff that hangs around the neck. Also from Europe. So I am going to get you back. I would like to think we have similar taste with kids clothes (good taste of coarse) so I will have some stuff in there that I hope you think is as cute as those baby outfits I got today (or opened today, I have been a bit laid up). Thanks again!
I will dig around and find some really good stuff in the bigger sizes because I don't know if I want to store it all for nine years. I have a really cute red and black coat with a muff that hangs around the neck. Also from Europe. So I am going to get you back. I would like to think we have similar taste with kids clothes (good taste of coarse) so I will have some stuff in there that I hope you think is as cute as those baby outfits I got today (or opened today, I have been a bit laid up). Thanks again!
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Thanks Rachel!
I got your package yesterday and the clothes were awesome! The hardest thing for me to do is to go shopping and I spend way too much on ebay so I appreciate it very much.
Archer did very well on his solo BTW. Drake accidentally sang in front of me and sounded great that little stinker.
I am still feeling horrible, but oh well, I can always tell this child what a pain literally what it was to get her here. And it was for Sadie so she should appreciate it, too.
Archer did very well on his solo BTW. Drake accidentally sang in front of me and sounded great that little stinker.
I am still feeling horrible, but oh well, I can always tell this child what a pain literally what it was to get her here. And it was for Sadie so she should appreciate it, too.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
PROFESSIONAL SINGER AMONG MY RELATIONS!
For all of you that don't FaceBook, Archer just got a PAID singing gig. He was given an honorarium of a couple hundred dollars but not surprisingly the choir is short on funds so he offered us about 300 in private lessons so we we eagerly took that deal. Of course we need to pay him his honorarium ourselves.
He needs some work on some particular isssues, mainly volume so we were glad to get the lessons, though. The song he sing ends on a B SHARP! so range isn't one of them. (The hymn books usually end on E for the sopranos, five notes lower).
Anyway this will be for Portland Mormon Choir, the MOTAB of the Northwest. I am trying to convince him to wear a tux because how many times is this going to happen? I suppose a lot if he decides to graduate to the Ovation group when his voice changes. But a 12-yr-old in a tux is adorable so I am going to go for it.
He needs some work on some particular isssues, mainly volume so we were glad to get the lessons, though. The song he sing ends on a B SHARP! so range isn't one of them. (The hymn books usually end on E for the sopranos, five notes lower).
Anyway this will be for Portland Mormon Choir, the MOTAB of the Northwest. I am trying to convince him to wear a tux because how many times is this going to happen? I suppose a lot if he decides to graduate to the Ovation group when his voice changes. But a 12-yr-old in a tux is adorable so I am going to go for it.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Figuring out my life
I have been actually reading about long-term sleep deprivation and it is me. It really explains a lot, not just the acute problems in the last few years.
Sleep deprivation is often not unpleasant and that might effect whether or not an individual chooses to do anything about me. Anyone who knows me like from my college or even sleepover days knows that I liked to stay up all night. I used to thrive on it as a way to get extra hours of productivity during the day. Slade used to have me drive all day and night when we went on trips because it seemed to not affect me.
But that is because of the difference in some individuals' response to sleep loss. Some people get more tired some people get LESS tired. Slade used to beg me to try to sleep after a while because I didn't think there was anything wrong with it and I didn't seem to need it. I definitely didn't get more tired.
But those who claim that they need sleep are the ones that have the proper sleep-tiredness relationship. I definitely have the opposite one in which I get less tired and even less inhibited and I actually felt good. There are some studies in which sleep deprivation is used to cure depression because it tends to make people manic.
So I got the reputation of not needing sleep but the thing was I needed it all along, just as much as the people who get tired. So I used to not even care until the last few years where I obviously passed some sort of tolerance threshold.
Sleep deprivation is often not unpleasant and that might effect whether or not an individual chooses to do anything about me. Anyone who knows me like from my college or even sleepover days knows that I liked to stay up all night. I used to thrive on it as a way to get extra hours of productivity during the day. Slade used to have me drive all day and night when we went on trips because it seemed to not affect me.
But that is because of the difference in some individuals' response to sleep loss. Some people get more tired some people get LESS tired. Slade used to beg me to try to sleep after a while because I didn't think there was anything wrong with it and I didn't seem to need it. I definitely didn't get more tired.
But those who claim that they need sleep are the ones that have the proper sleep-tiredness relationship. I definitely have the opposite one in which I get less tired and even less inhibited and I actually felt good. There are some studies in which sleep deprivation is used to cure depression because it tends to make people manic.
So I got the reputation of not needing sleep but the thing was I needed it all along, just as much as the people who get tired. So I used to not even care until the last few years where I obviously passed some sort of tolerance threshold.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
How far you can trust social scientists
Linguistics is one of the social sciences but not typically one of the ones that makes important sociological observations. Well actually it turns out that no one makes important sociological observations, because most of the observations that end up getting made are 100 percent wrong. The latest one is the theory of dysgenics. Actually that is a loaded term.
Dysgenics means doing something that is contrary to the benefit of the gene pool. And there were not that many things in that category. One of the very few of them was that women who are uneducated have more children than the women that aren't, as noted by the precipitous drop in world fertility rates.
Oh yeah, did all of you know that fertility rates are dropping? For them to drop in the first place was itself not predicted by social scientists, who all subscribed to a population bomb theory that the world is destroying itself because human beings are having too many offspring. Well, that might not be how everyone looks at it because often human beings are not viewed as part of the planet but part only of what is destroying the planet by its offensive behaviors like aresol cans and children. In the 1960's Paul Erlich of Stanford popularized the "one child" ethos because he made a bunch of predictions that human beings would either destoy themselves or the planet (whatever came first) by having too many children.
The problem with Erlich in particular and social science (my opinion) in general is that they do not make accurate predictions. And in my opinion there is no need for any predictions at all if they don't come true. It is interesting that all of these dire doomsday environmentalist theories have not come true but have still ended up causing major changes in human reproductive behavior. Well that is the theory anyway, even if it isn't an accurate one. It seems to me that all of this money and effort poured into the environmentalist movement is a waste of time because it has been geared toward averting a disaster that wasn't really going to happen anyway.
Back to why the population theory is wrong. Well no one knows, really. They just know that it hasn't been right. They don't even know to what extent it can be disproven. It is just obvious that it isn't all happening like Erlich et all said it would. He predicted that we were eating and throwing garbage away so fast that we would destroy the planet, but he wasn't even right about either how fast we are reproducing or its effect on the environment.
Because even though Erlich UNDERESTIMATED the number of human beings there would be at the end of the century, he OVERESTIMATED the amount of damage they would cause to the ecosystem. Meaning that there are even more people around right now but that it isn't cauing environmental catastrophe. That is because on of the original social scientists (in his day he was an economist but there is not must distinction anymore) Thomas Malthus predicted a linear relationshp between an organism and its environment.
The thing that Malthus got wrong, among others, was that the relationship between human beings and their environment can be manipulated. We are not like grazing cattle who will only limit their own voraciousness when we have eaten it all and we begin to starve to death. We can avoid eating up our entire environment and we can also create more of it. We don't just move on to other pastures, we can create greener ones that sustain more of us. Also not only can we avoid having a bad consequence on the environment we can have a beneficial environment, UNLIKE ANY OTHER ORGANISM ON THE PLANET. This is leaving Malthus now.
We are probably the only organism that is capable of developing a technology that will be able to actually avert an environmental catastrophe a la ones caused by bacteria pre-Cambrian explosion. Meaning that also the degree to which we reproduce can actually be beneficial to the environment, and the riskiest thing is that we not reproduuce fast enough to evolve a solution that will save the planet from eventual destruction, such as being obliterated by a meteorite.
Dysgenics means doing something that is contrary to the benefit of the gene pool. And there were not that many things in that category. One of the very few of them was that women who are uneducated have more children than the women that aren't, as noted by the precipitous drop in world fertility rates.
Oh yeah, did all of you know that fertility rates are dropping? For them to drop in the first place was itself not predicted by social scientists, who all subscribed to a population bomb theory that the world is destroying itself because human beings are having too many offspring. Well, that might not be how everyone looks at it because often human beings are not viewed as part of the planet but part only of what is destroying the planet by its offensive behaviors like aresol cans and children. In the 1960's Paul Erlich of Stanford popularized the "one child" ethos because he made a bunch of predictions that human beings would either destoy themselves or the planet (whatever came first) by having too many children.
The problem with Erlich in particular and social science (my opinion) in general is that they do not make accurate predictions. And in my opinion there is no need for any predictions at all if they don't come true. It is interesting that all of these dire doomsday environmentalist theories have not come true but have still ended up causing major changes in human reproductive behavior. Well that is the theory anyway, even if it isn't an accurate one. It seems to me that all of this money and effort poured into the environmentalist movement is a waste of time because it has been geared toward averting a disaster that wasn't really going to happen anyway.
Back to why the population theory is wrong. Well no one knows, really. They just know that it hasn't been right. They don't even know to what extent it can be disproven. It is just obvious that it isn't all happening like Erlich et all said it would. He predicted that we were eating and throwing garbage away so fast that we would destroy the planet, but he wasn't even right about either how fast we are reproducing or its effect on the environment.
Because even though Erlich UNDERESTIMATED the number of human beings there would be at the end of the century, he OVERESTIMATED the amount of damage they would cause to the ecosystem. Meaning that there are even more people around right now but that it isn't cauing environmental catastrophe. That is because on of the original social scientists (in his day he was an economist but there is not must distinction anymore) Thomas Malthus predicted a linear relationshp between an organism and its environment.
The thing that Malthus got wrong, among others, was that the relationship between human beings and their environment can be manipulated. We are not like grazing cattle who will only limit their own voraciousness when we have eaten it all and we begin to starve to death. We can avoid eating up our entire environment and we can also create more of it. We don't just move on to other pastures, we can create greener ones that sustain more of us. Also not only can we avoid having a bad consequence on the environment we can have a beneficial environment, UNLIKE ANY OTHER ORGANISM ON THE PLANET. This is leaving Malthus now.
We are probably the only organism that is capable of developing a technology that will be able to actually avert an environmental catastrophe a la ones caused by bacteria pre-Cambrian explosion. Meaning that also the degree to which we reproduce can actually be beneficial to the environment, and the riskiest thing is that we not reproduuce fast enough to evolve a solution that will save the planet from eventual destruction, such as being obliterated by a meteorite.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Exercise for weight GAIN???
Recently I have been meaning to try to implement some sort of exercise routine, but for completely the opposite reason that most people do it. I hate exercise, but I think that is because mainly I have few reasons to think I need to. Mainly I haven't really seen the point, but I have to remind myself that that is only because of the reputation that exercise has nowadays as being a cure for whatever ails ANYONE.
Longevity is not an issue for me, nor is cardio-vascular health, as I normally outdo those I know that are exercisers in terms of wearing out. I went to New York with a friend that is up every day at 6 jogging for an hour, among other people who exercise much more than I do, and I noticed right away that they wore out much faster in the day than I did (in fact they all complained LOUDLY about my sightseeing pace), which was funny to me as an avid partaker of stationery activities primarily.
Anyway, as I have not really ever thought of needing to use exercise to loose weight, and in our culture that is primarily what it is associated with. In fact I have exercised even LESS in the last few years because I haven't felt well in other ways and I have not had any appetite, dropping 20 lbs. When your back kills you you don't FEEL like exercising even though you aren't any less comfortable running than sitting. But the irony is that I think the less active I have become the less I feel like eating, and it tends to be a vicious cycle that way to where I literally have no energy because I don't eat. Today for instance I ate two pieces of fish in addition to my prenatal vitamins, probably loosing some more fat today meaning I will eventually have to force feed myself something like ice cream which I do eventually.
It makes me wonder what exercise does to those that try it as a primary method of weight loss. It is obvious to me that those who rely on exercise without also attempting to modify their diet usually fail. I think that traditionally people blame this on overestimating how many calories that exercise actually burns, which turns out to not be a great amount over what is needed for just primary respiratory purposes.
This makes a lot of sense evolutionarily. More active people probably adjust to how active they are without needing significantly more food intake, or else it would be a lot harder to simply stay alive if you are active, and it turns out that evolution favors active people usually rather than punishing them. Also this can be explained in mathematical terms. I think a lot of people consider non-exercise like sleep or lying there as 0 and jogging as 100 in terms of rate of burning calories but it is probably more like 70 to 100, with simply maintaining bodily functions being a significant percentage of what is necessary, depending on physiology. I have a very high muscle tone naturally without exercise, seriously my muscles are rock hard like a man's so that is probably some part of why I seem to have a high metabolism, and why I probably dropped weight so fast after being unable to support it with eating a lot.
It also is an interesting theory for anyone needing to loose weight. Most people take to the gym or put on jogging shoes this time of year when they have resolved to loose a few, but a lot more effective method in my experience would be mimicking my lifestyle over the past five years. Try to be really really still without doing anything for two weeks, and I swear you won't feel like eating a bite. And since it is really food intake that counts, and exercising not that much more of a burden on the body than simply lying their immobile, I think it would do the trick.
Ever hear of the phrase "working up an appetite?" I think that the concept must be somewhere in folk wisdom even if popular culture has adjusted to the notion that skinny people exercise. Skinny people might, as it eventually becomes very difficult to be active if people are very overweight and usually healthy behavior clusters together, meaning that MOST of the time if someone has gone through the trouble of working out (at least for the purposes of loosing weight) they have also adjusted the amount they eat.
I would be interested if anyone tried it. I am going to be trying the opposite, that is if I can find a way to overcome my great inertia against exercise. People assume that I am not healthy because it is true I have been sick the last few years, but that doesn't mean I am easily fatigued or can't walk or run. Probably my inability to sleep (really my one and only health problem even though it is a serious one and hard to solve, well impossible actually) is related to the fact that I DON'T tire easily and need a whole heck of a lot of activity, more than I feel like performing, before my body feels worn out.
So I am cardio-vascular gold (my genes tend toward people whose tickers need to be stopped because everything else wears out first) and comfort-wise I swear I do even better running than I do just sitting or standing, and up until recently I thought that must be my imagination. But it really does make sense that I actually experience less pain when I am walking or running than when I am stationary. My chiropractor says that is because the muscles need to become rigid when holding the body in a sitting or standing position and they can become more relaxed when maintaining fluid motion.
Longevity is not an issue for me, nor is cardio-vascular health, as I normally outdo those I know that are exercisers in terms of wearing out. I went to New York with a friend that is up every day at 6 jogging for an hour, among other people who exercise much more than I do, and I noticed right away that they wore out much faster in the day than I did (in fact they all complained LOUDLY about my sightseeing pace), which was funny to me as an avid partaker of stationery activities primarily.
Anyway, as I have not really ever thought of needing to use exercise to loose weight, and in our culture that is primarily what it is associated with. In fact I have exercised even LESS in the last few years because I haven't felt well in other ways and I have not had any appetite, dropping 20 lbs. When your back kills you you don't FEEL like exercising even though you aren't any less comfortable running than sitting. But the irony is that I think the less active I have become the less I feel like eating, and it tends to be a vicious cycle that way to where I literally have no energy because I don't eat. Today for instance I ate two pieces of fish in addition to my prenatal vitamins, probably loosing some more fat today meaning I will eventually have to force feed myself something like ice cream which I do eventually.
It makes me wonder what exercise does to those that try it as a primary method of weight loss. It is obvious to me that those who rely on exercise without also attempting to modify their diet usually fail. I think that traditionally people blame this on overestimating how many calories that exercise actually burns, which turns out to not be a great amount over what is needed for just primary respiratory purposes.
This makes a lot of sense evolutionarily. More active people probably adjust to how active they are without needing significantly more food intake, or else it would be a lot harder to simply stay alive if you are active, and it turns out that evolution favors active people usually rather than punishing them. Also this can be explained in mathematical terms. I think a lot of people consider non-exercise like sleep or lying there as 0 and jogging as 100 in terms of rate of burning calories but it is probably more like 70 to 100, with simply maintaining bodily functions being a significant percentage of what is necessary, depending on physiology. I have a very high muscle tone naturally without exercise, seriously my muscles are rock hard like a man's so that is probably some part of why I seem to have a high metabolism, and why I probably dropped weight so fast after being unable to support it with eating a lot.
It also is an interesting theory for anyone needing to loose weight. Most people take to the gym or put on jogging shoes this time of year when they have resolved to loose a few, but a lot more effective method in my experience would be mimicking my lifestyle over the past five years. Try to be really really still without doing anything for two weeks, and I swear you won't feel like eating a bite. And since it is really food intake that counts, and exercising not that much more of a burden on the body than simply lying their immobile, I think it would do the trick.
Ever hear of the phrase "working up an appetite?" I think that the concept must be somewhere in folk wisdom even if popular culture has adjusted to the notion that skinny people exercise. Skinny people might, as it eventually becomes very difficult to be active if people are very overweight and usually healthy behavior clusters together, meaning that MOST of the time if someone has gone through the trouble of working out (at least for the purposes of loosing weight) they have also adjusted the amount they eat.
I would be interested if anyone tried it. I am going to be trying the opposite, that is if I can find a way to overcome my great inertia against exercise. People assume that I am not healthy because it is true I have been sick the last few years, but that doesn't mean I am easily fatigued or can't walk or run. Probably my inability to sleep (really my one and only health problem even though it is a serious one and hard to solve, well impossible actually) is related to the fact that I DON'T tire easily and need a whole heck of a lot of activity, more than I feel like performing, before my body feels worn out.
So I am cardio-vascular gold (my genes tend toward people whose tickers need to be stopped because everything else wears out first) and comfort-wise I swear I do even better running than I do just sitting or standing, and up until recently I thought that must be my imagination. But it really does make sense that I actually experience less pain when I am walking or running than when I am stationary. My chiropractor says that is because the muscles need to become rigid when holding the body in a sitting or standing position and they can become more relaxed when maintaining fluid motion.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Argument for naturopathic regulation
As a general anti-government conservative type I generally oppose government regulation. But the naturopathic movement is becoming so alarming of a threat to not just the health of those that fall for it, but also those close to them, that it gets to a breaking point of sorts. At the very least, if REAL medicine is regulated, perhaps discouraging some from seeking treatment for those in their care or for a public health threat, then the corner drug guy selling root extract really should be too.
At the very least, peddlers of 5.99 bottles of whatever should not be allowed to treat the same conditions that a real doctor treats just by finessing the words on the label, by saying things like "creates the feeling of wellness" instead of "makes you well." And currently, that is allowed. Amazingly. I think that the fact that rubbish is collected from a bunch of weeds in someone's garden and sold as medicine has come to the attention of health officials in Canada, but they are going the exact wrong direction with it.
Knowing that there is a segment that is for some reason desperate to avoid actual health screening by those who MIGHT be able to help them, they want to give the naturopathists that people go to instead the right to prescribe actual medicne rather than only having fictitious concoctions at their disposal, perhaps many of them that they profit from directly. THIS IS SO ABSURD. It is true that much of the naturopathy industry is fueled by sales of their own products, while medical doctors have the option of suggesting drugs that they don't profit from directly, but this will lead to other problems. These people do not have any medical training, and no systemic knowledge of chemistry, medicine, the body or public epidemiology.
They are noted and most revered for not their actual ability to cure ANYTHING but rather their paranoia-fueled rants against anything an actual doctor does, including the doctors that have ended up ending public health crises such as cholera or plague and the ones that if we leave them alone may solve problems like heart disease or cancer, and not by ingesting some strange substance in a bottle or rubbing some ineffectual rubbish over the skin when we fall ill of a tumor, by actually understanding the cause of the illnesses so that they no longer occur. (This will not be possible by tapping into the secrets of the Native Americans or some other folk medicine - the Native Americans' secret to not getting cancer was dying by their twenties of an ear infection or broken bone.)
The most the naturopathists do is dispense sensible dietary advice that is widely available, parasitically employ selectively those things they choose from the medical community, and peddle their own products (all the while deriding big pharm for making money!). At least my doctor doesn't peddle his own wares like these snake oil salesmen do.
So what will naturally (haha) happen if people can go to their buddy the naturopathist is that people will route through these guys and not end up being seen by a doctor at any point, and not only jeopardize their own health but also will encourage any spread of public disease that might be going around.
See I think that it should be someone's right to not get treated for a health problem such as cancer if they really don't want to. It is interesting that when a bone is broken or anything actually diagnosable happens it becomes obvious that the naturopathists can't help anyone. Even a very basic medical practice such as setting bones, which real doctors mastered three hundred years ago, the magnets and vitality crowd are absolutely helpless to treat. The reason that the naturopathists still have patients seeking to treat cancer is that NO ONE treats it effectively yet, shielding them from the fact that they haven't a clue what they are doing. Why anyone would think that the people who can't treat a broken bone or a strep throat can cure cancer, I don't know, but I think it has something to do with the wishfull thinking of those who want an easy cure for a bad problem - and more acutely one that doesn't exist yet at all. But just because the cutting edge doctors can't cure it doesn't mean the witch doctors CAN, they are just unpoliced to the point that they will SAY they can.
And again, if I have a personal pain or other health problem and I want to go see someone who simply waves their arms around me or burns incense for my own sense of comfort or well being, it should be my right to waste my own money. But if they are given primary care specialist rights or rights to dole out medicine, what will happen is that people with treatable conditions that are currently controlled by the basic health screening of someone who has attended a year or two of medical school will probably, in focusing on mercury or silver to treat some various issue, allow a basic and understood and nearly extinct disease to rage out of control, unduly taxing emergency or palliative care when it becomes more serious than splinting a bone or taking penicillin.
This is particularly alarming due to the tendency that people have to under treat even their own children when there are very serious symptoms if they have caught the anti-doctor bug. The anti-vaccine crowd has already resulted in somewhat of a resurgence in diseases that were almost licked twenty years ago before the autism insanity began (and was dispatched by controlled studies showing vaccines to definitely NOT be the culprit), and things like Rubella are rearing their head again when it need not. There are already reports of people staying home and surfing the internet rather than taking their kid to a doctor when the kid has a fever of 106.
Part of the problem is that official channels of health care are regulated and therefore rationed, making it much more difficult to seek the advice of a trained doctor than it is to type your list of symptoms on a search engine, so with the appearance of some kind of screening or vigilance, there will be a segment of the population that attempts to treat their own problems with Tylenol or worse some kind of distilled herbal product that who knows what it is doing to them or their kids. And they run the risk that they won't be seen by a doctor when they have something serious or worse, that will spread.
Even diseases like chicken pox are very curable and preventable, such that the risk is that there is a percentage will likely escape the disease entirely into adulthood, as I did. I got chicken pox when I was 26, between pregnancies thank goodnes, just as the vaccine was coming out, and would definitely have gotten it and given it to my children a year or two later when it became more widely-used. But today mothers are more likely to fear the phantom menace of the vaccine than what the diseases themselves can do.
It used to be a very real situation what it was common to die of something like smallpox or even a bad case of influenza. But I think that in our post-epidemic society we take for granted that we won't die very often from communicable disease so people's fears are turned to the rather more benign threats of the administration of the very health care advances that see the majority of us living into our forties. I felt really bad that in my ward a mother of an autistic child had become so brainwashed by the anti-vaccine hype that her baby died in utero of a chicken pox infection that SHE GAVE IT. Very sad.
But it made me not only sad for her but frightened for others to think of her and her children spreading chicken pox to the unvaccinated and the one percent that are unresponsive to the vaccine. At some point it crosses the line from being an individual freedom to the point of being a public health concern. The reason that I don't fear that it is a big-brotherish threat (to the tune of violating my conservative, anti-government principles), however, is that if the public health officials act in accordance with scientific principles and observed data, there will a limit and check upon their options, so there will be less risk of them acting in a way that is not in accordance with the public interest. All actions on the books, and above board to be seen and evaluated by other health officials at a later date, so no funny business will likely be encouraged.
It is easy for me to say, because I know that I would never allow my child to die of a treatable disease because of an irrational fear of white coats, but whether or not others would is a very real problem, and not just for themselves or their children--I could catch whatever it is that they are spreading out of unjustified fear. And those that have no understanding of or respect for the scientific method and its fruits, preferring some hoodo voodo instead, should in my opinion not be allowed to negatively impact the health of the rest of us.
I think it is interesting that even Canada has an unusual caveat on their naturopathy proposal. The faux doctors will not be able to treat family members or friends. Hmmm. I wonder if even those who would allow the unknowing to go without treatment don't think it is right for people to dispense their 'wisdom' to their doctor-fearing friends or worse their own children, when a doctor's care to the unbiased would obviously be the sensible option.
At the very least, peddlers of 5.99 bottles of whatever should not be allowed to treat the same conditions that a real doctor treats just by finessing the words on the label, by saying things like "creates the feeling of wellness" instead of "makes you well." And currently, that is allowed. Amazingly. I think that the fact that rubbish is collected from a bunch of weeds in someone's garden and sold as medicine has come to the attention of health officials in Canada, but they are going the exact wrong direction with it.
Knowing that there is a segment that is for some reason desperate to avoid actual health screening by those who MIGHT be able to help them, they want to give the naturopathists that people go to instead the right to prescribe actual medicne rather than only having fictitious concoctions at their disposal, perhaps many of them that they profit from directly. THIS IS SO ABSURD. It is true that much of the naturopathy industry is fueled by sales of their own products, while medical doctors have the option of suggesting drugs that they don't profit from directly, but this will lead to other problems. These people do not have any medical training, and no systemic knowledge of chemistry, medicine, the body or public epidemiology.
They are noted and most revered for not their actual ability to cure ANYTHING but rather their paranoia-fueled rants against anything an actual doctor does, including the doctors that have ended up ending public health crises such as cholera or plague and the ones that if we leave them alone may solve problems like heart disease or cancer, and not by ingesting some strange substance in a bottle or rubbing some ineffectual rubbish over the skin when we fall ill of a tumor, by actually understanding the cause of the illnesses so that they no longer occur. (This will not be possible by tapping into the secrets of the Native Americans or some other folk medicine - the Native Americans' secret to not getting cancer was dying by their twenties of an ear infection or broken bone.)
The most the naturopathists do is dispense sensible dietary advice that is widely available, parasitically employ selectively those things they choose from the medical community, and peddle their own products (all the while deriding big pharm for making money!). At least my doctor doesn't peddle his own wares like these snake oil salesmen do.
So what will naturally (haha) happen if people can go to their buddy the naturopathist is that people will route through these guys and not end up being seen by a doctor at any point, and not only jeopardize their own health but also will encourage any spread of public disease that might be going around.
See I think that it should be someone's right to not get treated for a health problem such as cancer if they really don't want to. It is interesting that when a bone is broken or anything actually diagnosable happens it becomes obvious that the naturopathists can't help anyone. Even a very basic medical practice such as setting bones, which real doctors mastered three hundred years ago, the magnets and vitality crowd are absolutely helpless to treat. The reason that the naturopathists still have patients seeking to treat cancer is that NO ONE treats it effectively yet, shielding them from the fact that they haven't a clue what they are doing. Why anyone would think that the people who can't treat a broken bone or a strep throat can cure cancer, I don't know, but I think it has something to do with the wishfull thinking of those who want an easy cure for a bad problem - and more acutely one that doesn't exist yet at all. But just because the cutting edge doctors can't cure it doesn't mean the witch doctors CAN, they are just unpoliced to the point that they will SAY they can.
And again, if I have a personal pain or other health problem and I want to go see someone who simply waves their arms around me or burns incense for my own sense of comfort or well being, it should be my right to waste my own money. But if they are given primary care specialist rights or rights to dole out medicine, what will happen is that people with treatable conditions that are currently controlled by the basic health screening of someone who has attended a year or two of medical school will probably, in focusing on mercury or silver to treat some various issue, allow a basic and understood and nearly extinct disease to rage out of control, unduly taxing emergency or palliative care when it becomes more serious than splinting a bone or taking penicillin.
This is particularly alarming due to the tendency that people have to under treat even their own children when there are very serious symptoms if they have caught the anti-doctor bug. The anti-vaccine crowd has already resulted in somewhat of a resurgence in diseases that were almost licked twenty years ago before the autism insanity began (and was dispatched by controlled studies showing vaccines to definitely NOT be the culprit), and things like Rubella are rearing their head again when it need not. There are already reports of people staying home and surfing the internet rather than taking their kid to a doctor when the kid has a fever of 106.
Part of the problem is that official channels of health care are regulated and therefore rationed, making it much more difficult to seek the advice of a trained doctor than it is to type your list of symptoms on a search engine, so with the appearance of some kind of screening or vigilance, there will be a segment of the population that attempts to treat their own problems with Tylenol or worse some kind of distilled herbal product that who knows what it is doing to them or their kids. And they run the risk that they won't be seen by a doctor when they have something serious or worse, that will spread.
Even diseases like chicken pox are very curable and preventable, such that the risk is that there is a percentage will likely escape the disease entirely into adulthood, as I did. I got chicken pox when I was 26, between pregnancies thank goodnes, just as the vaccine was coming out, and would definitely have gotten it and given it to my children a year or two later when it became more widely-used. But today mothers are more likely to fear the phantom menace of the vaccine than what the diseases themselves can do.
It used to be a very real situation what it was common to die of something like smallpox or even a bad case of influenza. But I think that in our post-epidemic society we take for granted that we won't die very often from communicable disease so people's fears are turned to the rather more benign threats of the administration of the very health care advances that see the majority of us living into our forties. I felt really bad that in my ward a mother of an autistic child had become so brainwashed by the anti-vaccine hype that her baby died in utero of a chicken pox infection that SHE GAVE IT. Very sad.
But it made me not only sad for her but frightened for others to think of her and her children spreading chicken pox to the unvaccinated and the one percent that are unresponsive to the vaccine. At some point it crosses the line from being an individual freedom to the point of being a public health concern. The reason that I don't fear that it is a big-brotherish threat (to the tune of violating my conservative, anti-government principles), however, is that if the public health officials act in accordance with scientific principles and observed data, there will a limit and check upon their options, so there will be less risk of them acting in a way that is not in accordance with the public interest. All actions on the books, and above board to be seen and evaluated by other health officials at a later date, so no funny business will likely be encouraged.
It is easy for me to say, because I know that I would never allow my child to die of a treatable disease because of an irrational fear of white coats, but whether or not others would is a very real problem, and not just for themselves or their children--I could catch whatever it is that they are spreading out of unjustified fear. And those that have no understanding of or respect for the scientific method and its fruits, preferring some hoodo voodo instead, should in my opinion not be allowed to negatively impact the health of the rest of us.
I think it is interesting that even Canada has an unusual caveat on their naturopathy proposal. The faux doctors will not be able to treat family members or friends. Hmmm. I wonder if even those who would allow the unknowing to go without treatment don't think it is right for people to dispense their 'wisdom' to their doctor-fearing friends or worse their own children, when a doctor's care to the unbiased would obviously be the sensible option.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Insomnius Majorus
I wrote about this on facebook but some of you don't do facebook so I will double up on some of my posts.
I am finding that lately I have to eat constantly to even stop loosing weight. I am under my pre-pregnancy weight still by about five pounds even though I am eighteen weeks along. It is either a direct consequence or a co-symptom of my insomnia disorder. Probably whatever keeps me from sleeping also super charges my metabolism. It is most likely some sort of hyperadrenal situation where I have a zillion extra stress hormones coursing through my body and making me have a super high idle.
Also by the time I skip two, three or more nights of sleep it gets even harder to eat the minimum amount that I need to stay level. Food gets really disgusting sounding because all of my senses become super sensitive. Just like light gets too bright and noises too loud (known as my vampire syndrome by Slade) smells and tastes become way too intense and if I smell or eat the wrong thing I will puke and voila, negative caloric intake.
In the last year or so it has gotten so bad that I have had doctors apologize to me. Of course insomnia results in mock symptoms of mental disorders like mood disorders or general mental deterioration, but it is very obvious looking at me, much less keeping track of my schedule, that I am sick. Very simple, no fancy names or need for talking to therapists. Something is seriously wrong with me, and they can't do a darned thing about it.
I am finding that lately I have to eat constantly to even stop loosing weight. I am under my pre-pregnancy weight still by about five pounds even though I am eighteen weeks along. It is either a direct consequence or a co-symptom of my insomnia disorder. Probably whatever keeps me from sleeping also super charges my metabolism. It is most likely some sort of hyperadrenal situation where I have a zillion extra stress hormones coursing through my body and making me have a super high idle.
Also by the time I skip two, three or more nights of sleep it gets even harder to eat the minimum amount that I need to stay level. Food gets really disgusting sounding because all of my senses become super sensitive. Just like light gets too bright and noises too loud (known as my vampire syndrome by Slade) smells and tastes become way too intense and if I smell or eat the wrong thing I will puke and voila, negative caloric intake.
In the last year or so it has gotten so bad that I have had doctors apologize to me. Of course insomnia results in mock symptoms of mental disorders like mood disorders or general mental deterioration, but it is very obvious looking at me, much less keeping track of my schedule, that I am sick. Very simple, no fancy names or need for talking to therapists. Something is seriously wrong with me, and they can't do a darned thing about it.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
And also...
Also if anyone has guessed girl and has girls stuff that they may be retiring permanently, especially stuff that wouldn't be good enough to sell or whatever I have pretty much gotten rid of most of my girl things. I sent a big box to Rachel, to Sarah, have given some and will continue to since sadie is bigger than elle to Elle, plus a lot of other friends and people in the ward. I have also gotten rrid of things like car seats and baby swings. The money wouldn't be that big a part of t because I used to get it at garage sales mostly, but as I don't drive it will probably come to new or nothing, which is different than I have done any of the previous kids. So if anyone can help me out, for loan or if you are lightening up, much appreciated, you can't even know. In fact no one I am sure would haveto buy me anythng by the time people take inventory of their 4-6 kids' stuff. I will probably be ok if no one has anything but any old thing that I don't have to stress in preparationj would be great. I figure maybe I could get together with Rachel Bentley sometime ether in Utah maybe or online/on the phoneand give her a whole load of clothes from 4-10 in exchange for some baby and toddler girls stuff coming off the back end, what do you say? We tend to have pretty similar taste. Lots of gap. some Gymboree. etc, some really cute dresses, shoes and dressup things. I bought Sadie about four outfits in france with matching hats and kerchiefs and she grew out of them immediately. Sigh. Plus cute holiday dresses, etc. and ski stuff.
Slade is going to take his two months off and take two before the baby and we are going to make 6 months of meals and put them in the freezers. I am actually going to have a frozen food shower if anyone offers to throw me one. Frozen food, formula. baby food and diapers are the only things I want. Hand me downs if they must bring clothes or gear. And then he will be with me for the six weeks after the baby is born - the screaming weeks. It will be great not to be alone and feel trapped here with that young of a baby all day. The kiids will help a lot summers. weekends and evenings but I will be alone with the baby no car for a bit of time and it will be great to have slade ease me into it. If all this works out, it will be fine, if it doesn't I will be stressed but what else is new... If anyone wants to visit us while Slade s off work that would be fun and we could hang wth the new babe and cook things for the store.
Slade is going to take his two months off and take two before the baby and we are going to make 6 months of meals and put them in the freezers. I am actually going to have a frozen food shower if anyone offers to throw me one. Frozen food, formula. baby food and diapers are the only things I want. Hand me downs if they must bring clothes or gear. And then he will be with me for the six weeks after the baby is born - the screaming weeks. It will be great not to be alone and feel trapped here with that young of a baby all day. The kiids will help a lot summers. weekends and evenings but I will be alone with the baby no car for a bit of time and it will be great to have slade ease me into it. If all this works out, it will be fine, if it doesn't I will be stressed but what else is new... If anyone wants to visit us while Slade s off work that would be fun and we could hang wth the new babe and cook things for the store.
TAXES - SERIOUSLY???
It is hard for me to believe sometimes that they keep doing this, but obviously there is some segment of the population that remains chronically undecided. You would think that with a track record that the state of Oregon has with whining to the voters that the sky will fall every year if they don't raise taxes that people would have figured it out by now, that basically that is ALWAYS what the government will say naturally, if by saying it they will get pad more by the well meaning or frightened taxpayers that actually make the mistake of believing them.
It is basically like a trained lab rat. They in Salem know that all they have to do is say to would-be taxpayers (or the ones that THINK OTHER people are going to have to pay more - yeah, right) if you don't give us more money, Jo and Jane taxpayer, the jails will be emptied into the streets, we won't have any money to teach your kids anything except climate change and whatever they each can learn on the multiple personal computers in all the classroom (or maybe the computers will be forced - ghasp - to not run on an updated OS and the library will only be open thirty minutes a day.
OOOOhhh I am scared now! If things get really REALLY bad it might be like it was when I was a kid and the teacher is forced to do what he or she might be able to do with just a piece of chalk and their own brain. Yeah, I suppose that would be kind of bad. But seriously, I wish that they actually MADE some of these hard decisions and had to actually decide that maybe there shouldn't even BE a public library (with the 100 bucks we would all have extra we could probably do better with a yearly Amazon.com giftcard, and that wouldn't even go toward the administrative waste that is generated by big brother trying to provide our media needs) and maybe there shouldn't BE a public pool and maybe yes, they should be forced to just actually teach reading and writing and math in school instead of having all kinds of fancy stuff that really just passes for distracting kids and makes parents THINK that their kids must be learning. ACTUAL learning is very boring and very cheap. Abe Lincoln managed a first class education for free, yet the schools struggle every year without raising the budget.
I mean seriously have you ever, even in a good year, heard the government say Oh, wow, this is GREAT we have SO MUCH extra money we are just spending it left and right, in fact here is some of it back because we don't need all of it! OF COURSE NOT. Though obviously it does happen. You think of all the things government pays for like long criminal prosecutions for one lone weirdo here and there or all kinds of subsidized garbage and it becomes very obvious that there are oodles of it gushing everywhere like a leaky bucket except the leaks go straight into the sewer instead of the banks of the people who made it and would actually be good stewards of it if they got to keep it.
As much as they are actually able to scare voters out of their wits and their dollars, most actual learning of any quality is accomplishable by actually READING the stuff that is already written and not having fieldtrips and computer programs to teach something different. But it remains that state, local and federal governments have been trained to constantly whine and complain and scare the money away from the taxpayers year after year after year.
It is true that most of the people who agree to be taxed are the ones that THINK someone ELSE is being taxed. Lke those BIG BAD corporations? Nobody seriously thinks there are companies like INTEL who are not being taxed more than ten dollars a year, do they? (Actually it wouldn't be that bad in my opinion if they weren't because likely the money wouldn't go to some greedy fat cat dressed like the Monopoly guy and wearing a monicle, it would probably go toward not having to lay off the guy next door or the guy in the ward who had to go on unemployment for a year).
The people they are talking about who only pay the corporate minimumn are the people who don't even MAKE any money at ALL. It is the basic minimum that people need to pay to keep themselves incorporated for the year. It is the people like our friend with the scrapbooking business that is basically scraping by, if making any money at all. So basically the government with the ads that scare people into sending more money to be wasted in Salem are basically just the same group that knows that if they don't cry, moan complain and threaten the taxpayers year after year after year with the same idle threats they might actually have to get by with less. They won't be able to provide subsidies for unemployed people to have free phone service every year (did you know that a lot of states pay for that?)
And all of us, not just the people that work really hard to pay their own way even if it might mean going WITHOUT phone service from time to time, might actually have to pay our own bills and not simply apply to Salem to be on an even longer list of people with even more extensive needs to whine even LOUDER next year. I think that it has come to the point that they are really crying wolf... LOUD. And people like me who are so jaded by the fact that I KNOW they don't really need the money and are asking for it anyway will never EVER listen. Not that I should ever make the mistake of trying.
It is basically like a trained lab rat. They in Salem know that all they have to do is say to would-be taxpayers (or the ones that THINK OTHER people are going to have to pay more - yeah, right) if you don't give us more money, Jo and Jane taxpayer, the jails will be emptied into the streets, we won't have any money to teach your kids anything except climate change and whatever they each can learn on the multiple personal computers in all the classroom (or maybe the computers will be forced - ghasp - to not run on an updated OS and the library will only be open thirty minutes a day.
OOOOhhh I am scared now! If things get really REALLY bad it might be like it was when I was a kid and the teacher is forced to do what he or she might be able to do with just a piece of chalk and their own brain. Yeah, I suppose that would be kind of bad. But seriously, I wish that they actually MADE some of these hard decisions and had to actually decide that maybe there shouldn't even BE a public library (with the 100 bucks we would all have extra we could probably do better with a yearly Amazon.com giftcard, and that wouldn't even go toward the administrative waste that is generated by big brother trying to provide our media needs) and maybe there shouldn't BE a public pool and maybe yes, they should be forced to just actually teach reading and writing and math in school instead of having all kinds of fancy stuff that really just passes for distracting kids and makes parents THINK that their kids must be learning. ACTUAL learning is very boring and very cheap. Abe Lincoln managed a first class education for free, yet the schools struggle every year without raising the budget.
I mean seriously have you ever, even in a good year, heard the government say Oh, wow, this is GREAT we have SO MUCH extra money we are just spending it left and right, in fact here is some of it back because we don't need all of it! OF COURSE NOT. Though obviously it does happen. You think of all the things government pays for like long criminal prosecutions for one lone weirdo here and there or all kinds of subsidized garbage and it becomes very obvious that there are oodles of it gushing everywhere like a leaky bucket except the leaks go straight into the sewer instead of the banks of the people who made it and would actually be good stewards of it if they got to keep it.
As much as they are actually able to scare voters out of their wits and their dollars, most actual learning of any quality is accomplishable by actually READING the stuff that is already written and not having fieldtrips and computer programs to teach something different. But it remains that state, local and federal governments have been trained to constantly whine and complain and scare the money away from the taxpayers year after year after year.
It is true that most of the people who agree to be taxed are the ones that THINK someone ELSE is being taxed. Lke those BIG BAD corporations? Nobody seriously thinks there are companies like INTEL who are not being taxed more than ten dollars a year, do they? (Actually it wouldn't be that bad in my opinion if they weren't because likely the money wouldn't go to some greedy fat cat dressed like the Monopoly guy and wearing a monicle, it would probably go toward not having to lay off the guy next door or the guy in the ward who had to go on unemployment for a year).
The people they are talking about who only pay the corporate minimumn are the people who don't even MAKE any money at ALL. It is the basic minimum that people need to pay to keep themselves incorporated for the year. It is the people like our friend with the scrapbooking business that is basically scraping by, if making any money at all. So basically the government with the ads that scare people into sending more money to be wasted in Salem are basically just the same group that knows that if they don't cry, moan complain and threaten the taxpayers year after year after year with the same idle threats they might actually have to get by with less. They won't be able to provide subsidies for unemployed people to have free phone service every year (did you know that a lot of states pay for that?)
And all of us, not just the people that work really hard to pay their own way even if it might mean going WITHOUT phone service from time to time, might actually have to pay our own bills and not simply apply to Salem to be on an even longer list of people with even more extensive needs to whine even LOUDER next year. I think that it has come to the point that they are really crying wolf... LOUD. And people like me who are so jaded by the fact that I KNOW they don't really need the money and are asking for it anyway will never EVER listen. Not that I should ever make the mistake of trying.
ANY GUESSES?
I think I already posted about this but I had intended for any of those who think they are able to guess the sex of babies (through whatever method) to take a crack at it first.
And it was early to get excited about my daytime napping. I am pretty much back to never sleeping EVER. Sheesh. Sometimes I wonder about why I feel terrible all the time and then wonder how ANYONE would do with one night of sleep per week. I actually think I may function above average, if that's possible to believe.
I asked Slade how he thnks he would do after three nights of missed sleep in a row and he says he wouldn't know because he's NEVER had more than one night in a row. EVER. Hard to believe. I hardly ever have two nights of sleep in a row.
Again, this is a really hard problem. Particularly because I think that even the doctors who are paid 350/hr don't know the animal. I have researched it online and have yet to even run into someone as severe as I am in cyberspace.
I just have to remember this when I keep judging myself for not doing well at things. I am a freak of nature on the scale of which is hard to encounter elsewhere, so I should really stop being surprised about the extent of my health problems. Not that I have bad health on the SCALE of bad health, meaning I haven't had cancer or a heart attack yet, but the sad thing is that probably one day I will and then will have my problems in addition to those...
And it was early to get excited about my daytime napping. I am pretty much back to never sleeping EVER. Sheesh. Sometimes I wonder about why I feel terrible all the time and then wonder how ANYONE would do with one night of sleep per week. I actually think I may function above average, if that's possible to believe.
I asked Slade how he thnks he would do after three nights of missed sleep in a row and he says he wouldn't know because he's NEVER had more than one night in a row. EVER. Hard to believe. I hardly ever have two nights of sleep in a row.
Again, this is a really hard problem. Particularly because I think that even the doctors who are paid 350/hr don't know the animal. I have researched it online and have yet to even run into someone as severe as I am in cyberspace.
I just have to remember this when I keep judging myself for not doing well at things. I am a freak of nature on the scale of which is hard to encounter elsewhere, so I should really stop being surprised about the extent of my health problems. Not that I have bad health on the SCALE of bad health, meaning I haven't had cancer or a heart attack yet, but the sad thing is that probably one day I will and then will have my problems in addition to those...
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Glorious guilty pleasure
In the past few weeks, since Christmas break when Slade was home to set a bad example by doing the same, I have been indulging in an extremely no no guilty pleasure that I haven't done for a long time. Napping during the day.
The reason I haven't napped for years now is that I have been seeing a neurologist who ironically seems to never have encountered insomnia. So one strategy he has suggested is using principles of 'sleep hygiene' which in theory are an attempt to replicate the sleep patterns of a normal person. I have always been suspicious that this doesn't work, but there are few good options, and now that I am not taking any medications that work, none.
So since Christmas break I decided that I couldn't stand it anymore, esp with the pregnancy and total pharmeceutical sobriety it just didn't make sense to get no sleep. So this week being the most extreme example, I have been endulging in glorious 3-5 hour naps in the day. I figure I have no kids at home so it is not like I am one of those white trash mothers that lets their kids watch tv all day while I sleep. Victimless crime. At least while I have the chance. And while I am alone with a newborn it may be my only chance to sleep at all to catch catnaps while I can, since I won't be able to do the 8 hour Ambien thing then either.
So for the moment I am chucking the goal of sleep hygiene. In fact I am practically sleep filthy. I really don't buy it in theory anyway. Because Slade sleeps like a baby any time he wants even when he has had a long nap. I am just different, and I won't be able to sleep at night whatever I do. It is kind of like when people assume that because people produce less of a certain amount of hormone X when they get older it means that they should boost the heck out of it supplementally. It just likely doesn't work that way.
People's bodies probably produce less of estrogen or DHEA or whatever because their body doesn't NEED it anymore because obviously we don't stay young forever. In fact producing less of a certain hormone that is usually associated with reproduction when we get older is probably safer for our bodies because we don't need it and our bodies probably can't handle the potent hormones as well for those extra decades. We are one of the only species to live significantly longer than we are reproductively active and it doesn't make sense to try to keep an unnecessarily high level of youth related hormones when we age because it will probably kill us.
It is like why dogs get cancer when they are ten. They didn't get it from chemicals in their environment and can't cure it by getting rid of them. Their body is just programmed to age faster. So my body just doesn't go to sleep at night and sleep for eight hours, and replicating that behavior by trying to force that on myself is ridiculous. I am not going to start magically sleeping because I don''t nap in the day. In fact I find that I sleep MORE at night when I nap. So whaever, mr 350/hr neuro. I think I will just get some zzs but thanks.
The reason I haven't napped for years now is that I have been seeing a neurologist who ironically seems to never have encountered insomnia. So one strategy he has suggested is using principles of 'sleep hygiene' which in theory are an attempt to replicate the sleep patterns of a normal person. I have always been suspicious that this doesn't work, but there are few good options, and now that I am not taking any medications that work, none.
So since Christmas break I decided that I couldn't stand it anymore, esp with the pregnancy and total pharmeceutical sobriety it just didn't make sense to get no sleep. So this week being the most extreme example, I have been endulging in glorious 3-5 hour naps in the day. I figure I have no kids at home so it is not like I am one of those white trash mothers that lets their kids watch tv all day while I sleep. Victimless crime. At least while I have the chance. And while I am alone with a newborn it may be my only chance to sleep at all to catch catnaps while I can, since I won't be able to do the 8 hour Ambien thing then either.
So for the moment I am chucking the goal of sleep hygiene. In fact I am practically sleep filthy. I really don't buy it in theory anyway. Because Slade sleeps like a baby any time he wants even when he has had a long nap. I am just different, and I won't be able to sleep at night whatever I do. It is kind of like when people assume that because people produce less of a certain amount of hormone X when they get older it means that they should boost the heck out of it supplementally. It just likely doesn't work that way.
People's bodies probably produce less of estrogen or DHEA or whatever because their body doesn't NEED it anymore because obviously we don't stay young forever. In fact producing less of a certain hormone that is usually associated with reproduction when we get older is probably safer for our bodies because we don't need it and our bodies probably can't handle the potent hormones as well for those extra decades. We are one of the only species to live significantly longer than we are reproductively active and it doesn't make sense to try to keep an unnecessarily high level of youth related hormones when we age because it will probably kill us.
It is like why dogs get cancer when they are ten. They didn't get it from chemicals in their environment and can't cure it by getting rid of them. Their body is just programmed to age faster. So my body just doesn't go to sleep at night and sleep for eight hours, and replicating that behavior by trying to force that on myself is ridiculous. I am not going to start magically sleeping because I don''t nap in the day. In fact I find that I sleep MORE at night when I nap. So whaever, mr 350/hr neuro. I think I will just get some zzs but thanks.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
The last year of our poverty?
It has been rough since Intel stock has been down so much, since that is where most of our money is. But the last of our underwater grants may be this year. We have one for 68 (in our dreams) and one for 38 (very doable historically) but after that it is smooth sailing with all of our grants in the teens and twenties. And of course our stock is our stock but they aren't like our options where they aren't worth squat unless they are above a certain amount. And since Intel is very well poised (having taken advantage of the so-called recession in many ways, from selling more of its products abroad and buying up other struggling companies to the current marketing of three computers in one purchase, anyone see that over the holidays?) It may be only up from here. Let's hope so, very sick of being poor.
And the best thing is that it will all be Slade's hard work. He has had very few breaks in life, only hard hard work since he well, ever. No cars, no down payments on our first house from anyone, no nepotistic jobs, just him. Well done, hon. Oh, and also we will be paying off our house this year! Another sign things are turning for the better.
As for baby, still growing well, etc. Will find out the sex in two weeks. So tune in.
And the best thing is that it will all be Slade's hard work. He has had very few breaks in life, only hard hard work since he well, ever. No cars, no down payments on our first house from anyone, no nepotistic jobs, just him. Well done, hon. Oh, and also we will be paying off our house this year! Another sign things are turning for the better.
As for baby, still growing well, etc. Will find out the sex in two weeks. So tune in.
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