Archer in breeches

Archer indeed got the son of Louis, Anna's son in the production of K and I he auditioned for the other night, which is the best part for a kid in the play. Chase could have probably gotten the Prince part but he refused to audition like a pill. Drake the biggest pill I couldn't have threatened or bribed to do it. He has completely broken me.

My boys, because of the bad attitudes of them and even their dad about pursuing these kinds of talents, are falling like flies from my ranks and seriously limiting by ability of living though my children (Just Kidding, if I had actually been serious about that things would have been very different, I am so completely casual about it as it is, I didn't even know about these auditions until the director called me).

I was really excited for my sons to be able to sing but it has been harder than I thought to interest them in being something other than just being one of the guys. If they were just dorks or something that could't do anything else then it would be significantly easier, but they are pretty much good at everything whether they work at it or not and very likeable by their peers and don't have the least bit of concern about me being upset with them so I just can't do anything about it at all.

The socially-contructed theory of gender syereotypes is SO debunked, it's so ridiculous, and even more generally, the number of people that actually think that they are having ANY impact on their children's lives or development whatsoever is pretty funny. Seriously I am so glad that I know this because it relieves a lot of stress that I would have if I had somehow gotten the universal but unsupported notion that I needed to do stuff for my kids at all for them to turn out a certain way.

I do a lot with them now as they are getting older and having more interesting interests because they are cool and I just enjoy them as people, but it would be really scary if I thought I could be doing them any more favors at all in any more significant way.

I mentioned this in Relief Society the other day (indirectly, I mean I am not totally stupid), because we were talking about plan of salvation and agency and all, and I asked a question about whether they thought that our mothering made any differnce at all on our kids' going to heaven. Of course they pretty much said of course, enthusiastically, at first. I folowed up by how exactly that would work with the concept of agency, if one person got to go to heaven because their mother was reading them phonics out of the BofM every day at 6 am and another kids' wasn't and they started saying, well you can INFLUENCE it. Right? Mmhmmm.... what exactly does that mean ladies? Whoops, turns out that they really hadn't thought about how little sense that distinction makes, let alone the concept, and the weren't about to start.

So strange that there are so many complex convoluted ways of arguing something that makes absolutely no sense.

Both the actual gospel and child development research make it pretty clear to me that I might as well be a crack ho. My kids would turn out absolutely the same, perhaps even better (if I were able to not give them my crack ho genes somehow as a crack ho, because that is the rub with most crack ho parents, probably). Because if they learn to become competent in a safe environment when they are young because they need to do things for themselves because I wasn't running around after them as their personal assistants they would probably learn how to do more for themselves earlier than my kids even are now because I feel that I have to go though the motions of a lot of it just for appearances sake.

Don't get me wrong, I like my kids a lot as people and enjoy their company and would do whatever I needed to do for them to have a happy successful life, but the whole thing about being a 'good mother' for our OCD culture it is a lot like vaccuming in the same culture in my opinion. Depleting my energy and health so there would be less harmless lint that isn't doing a single thing to anyone when most of our ancestors lived directly on the dirt and were probably healthier for it is something that I would feel really bad if I actualy thought was important. It would be strange to me to feel like using my limited number of seconds on the planet doing things that don't amount to any consequence at all. Like if we ever look back and were glad that the floor was vaccumed or not, if we even remember. I mean if people like to teach their kids phonics because they think it will shave a week or two off the age that their kids learn to read or if they like cleaning something that isn't dirty, then I am glad they have their hobbies. Obviously some people like it for some reason. Those people obviously don't feel the way I feel when I stand and bend over. It is obviously its own reward for many. But I am so glad that it is becoming clear that that's all it is.

And not only is there even evidence that we are making our kids actually sicker because we are keeping the house too clean, I think that we might be doing the same kind of thing for over scaffolding around all of their time and learning opportunities. The most amazing thing about my kids is how competent they are in all kinds of ways. I mean, REMARKABLY so. If Slade and I died leaving them no inheritance or anything at this point, they would turn out totally fine, I am very sure. Because competency certainly does not result from having someone running around doing things for you that you are supposed to actually learn to do yourself at some point. It actually squanders the opportunity for them to learn to do it while they are young and while the consequences are small and they can be supervised during the process.

I really wonder about the homeschooled types that won't interact with a single other adult besides their parents until they are eighteen and on their own and there is no longer a chance to give any imput, guidance or cushion if it turns out bad. It is funny, I threatened to homeschool Drake the other day just as a joke, and we both knew that it was the ugliest, emptiest threat I could throw at him. "Dad, mom threatened to HOMESCHOOL me!!!"

So anyway, Archer is going to be adorable in this part, it is the perfect nice little upstanding young man part for him. And he even slouched off the audition, he got there late, didn't learn the music, slunk around during the dancing, and goofed off during the line reading. The child is clearly charmed. She basically just wanted him to do it and it didn't matter what happened in the audition. It makes sense, because he doesn't even have the most talent in the world (Drake the total pill has the best ear for music, although it is very surprising that know that because he tries very hard to not let anyone know). I have been on the other end of that, when someone obviously wanted someone else no matter what happened, so it was kind of cool for him to be sought out like that.