Wednesday, July 30, 2008

These guys claim to be brain scientists.

My latest neurologist, in a string of three that don't appear to know three things about the human brain to rub together to save their lives not to mention reputations, made me realize that he has no comprehension of the nature of the beast I am dealing with.

When we discussed putting me in another one of those studies where they wire me up head to toe I said that I really doubted that I would be able to sleep in the lab. He said oh yeah you will be able to sleep in the lab. All it is is a dark room with nothing to do but lie there.

So this is my question for him, Dr. J Ramseyer. How on earth did he get to be a doctor of Neurology with a specialty in sleep while he believes that people with primary insomnia don't go to sleep because their room isn't dark enough or they have something else to do? He doesn't seem to realize that that describes what it is like for me EVERY NIGHT. EVERY NIGHT I go to lie down in a dark room with nothing to do and every night I don't sleep. How is it that he could get where he is without runing into this problem?

Maybe I am just a really extreme case. Actually I know that I am an extreme case. But you think he would have at least heard of it.

3 comments:

jph3 said...

That's funny.

Did he suggest taking a few deep breaths too? I hear counting sheep works as well. :-)

morganspice said...

Counting sheep. He probably gets to charge five hundred bucks an hour to tell people that. He already has said stuff like are you following principles of sleep hygeine? (Going to sleep at the same time, etc). Well considering kids have great sleep hygeine because they have to go to bed when their parents want them too and I had this problem when I was little, that won't help. Doesn't stop him from obsessing about it, though, because that will keep him from having to come up with anything helpful!

morganspice said...

Not to mention

"You are getting very sleepy..."

LOL. That's about as good as anything the shrink I went to ever said. "Tell me about your mother" being another that he couldn't get off of for about a year. I swear I had to about fourty five of the fifty minutes I spent with him defend the reputations of my poor parents considering that was about all he wanted to go off on. It was as bad as or worse than the movie stereotypes. Wanted to come up with some really tired pathetic theory that I was abused and traumatized and finding some alternate personality to deal with it. I am BEING SERIOUS. Seriously in the twenty first century this guy that somehow makes two hundred dollars an hour said that I was dissociating to relieve myself from some deap seated trauma from childhood. I couldn't have written it any creepier and quackier if I had tried. And I did. I tried to come up with some parody version but everything was less wackier than the real thing!